Не нужно бояться, что жизнь кончится. надо бояться, что она не начнется.
AU-вселенные – такие AU-вселенные... 
"When his childhood home is burned down by the vicious crime lord Smaug (and his grandfather and father are killed in the process), Afghanistan veteran Thorin Oakenshield (rich, powerful and oh so terribly broken) sets out on a ludicrous mission of revenge to get back what was stolen from him- A.R.K.E.N.S.T.O.N.E., a highly advanced security program engineered by his father Thrain. Dragging along twelve other men (including his nephews Fili and Kili) and with the help of a shady government official known only as G, Thorin seeks out the help of Bilbo Baggins, a once-brilliant hacker now turned Tesco employee.
Things seem to go smoothly, until Oakenshield starts to realize that Smaug is all up for a game of cat and mouse.
And that he has no intention of losing.
Add the fact that not-so-recovering alcoholic Thranduil Greenleaf (a brilliant, ruthless and very, very corrupt Scotland Yard police officer) is starting to dig a bit too deep, and things might get a little out of hand."
"When his childhood home is burned down by the vicious crime lord Smaug (and his grandfather and father are killed in the process), Afghanistan veteran Thorin Oakenshield (rich, powerful and oh so terribly broken) sets out on a ludicrous mission of revenge to get back what was stolen from him- A.R.K.E.N.S.T.O.N.E., a highly advanced security program engineered by his father Thrain. Dragging along twelve other men (including his nephews Fili and Kili) and with the help of a shady government official known only as G, Thorin seeks out the help of Bilbo Baggins, a once-brilliant hacker now turned Tesco employee.
Things seem to go smoothly, until Oakenshield starts to realize that Smaug is all up for a game of cat and mouse.
And that he has no intention of losing.
Add the fact that not-so-recovering alcoholic Thranduil Greenleaf (a brilliant, ruthless and very, very corrupt Scotland Yard police officer) is starting to dig a bit too deep, and things might get a little out of hand."